And Then Dib Blew Up
by Mrs. Terwilliger
Summary: Fanfictions written by the cast of Zim! Examples are Zim, Dib, Gaz, GIR, Ms. Bitters, the Tallest, Tak, Iggins, Minimoose, Skoodge, Keef, Bill, Prof. Membrane, Gretchen, Nny for some reason, the Roboparents, Sizz Lorr, Mimi, and one last guest star.
1. Zim's Odd Fanfic

**A/N: **Ok, these are just a bunch of fanfics written by the cast of Zim. I'm gunna try to do every character. Like...yah.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Zim.

**Prompt:** Write a fanfic about a flower.

**Zim's Fanfic**

Once apon a time there was a stupid and ugly and big-headed boy named Dib. Everybody hated him and he had no friends because he was stupid and ugly. He was always mean to a wonderful, handsome, and really, really smart alien, (who is a human), who is wonderful. Dib is ugly and has a big head. He was in no position to stop me taking over the world because he is ugly and stupid.

So, the wonderful Irken invader named Zim, who the Tallest loved and sent him on a secret mission to destroy Earth because they loved him so much, decided to kill this annoying Dib-thing. Dib is ugly and stupid.

So the ugly and stupid Dib-thing comes to my house. He thinks that he is going to spy on the wonderful, handsome, smart normal human worm-baby beacause he is ugly and stupid and has a big head, so he can't think enough to know that if you can near my house I blast you to SMITHEREENS!!! So when he comes to Zim's house Zim gets out a giant machine gun and a bomb and knife and firecrackers and explosives and guns and knives and a bomb and a giant shoe. Then Zim does everyone a favor andstabs him to death and blows up his guts and then burns his guts and feeds the ashes to a dog and then burns the dog and spread the ashes in the four most shark-infested places on this STINKING PLANET!!!! I am normal.

Then everyone will cheer, the Tallest will believe I am the best invader ever, everyone will be my slave and I will whip them every day. Those slimy humans will bow down to me if they know I can tazer them.

Me: Eeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Zim? that had NOTHING to do with flowers.

Zim: You liiiiie, You LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

Me: No, realy, it didn't.

Zim: What do I care, stinking human? You aren't the boss of me.

Me::sprays Zim with water gun::

Zim: AAAUUUGH!! Fine, fine, Earth slime, "then they all ate flowers, the end." Happy?

Me: No. People don't eat flowers.

Zim: Yes they do.

Me: No they don't. The only way you are going to get out of this is if you write a songfic about flowers.

Zim: Why?

Me: Because I said so. Go.

Zim: Filthy HUUUUMAN! Fine. Ehem. ::starts singing off-key::

DIB, DIB, DIB!

YOU ARE SO STINKY! YOUR HEAD IS BIG!

DIB, DIB, DIB!

I WILL DESTROY YOU, SO HA!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ::cough:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

THEN I'LL BLOW YOU UP! EVEN AFTER YOU'RE DEAD!

WHY?

HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT QUESTION?

DO NOT QUESTION ME, I WILL RULE YOU ALL ONE DAY!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

PITUFUL _HUUUUUUUUU_MANS!!

MUUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: That didn't have anything to do with flowers either. It wasn't even a SONG. Oh, I give up. Jeez. ::walks home::

Zim: Hey, where are you going? You dare reject ZIM?! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Come back here!...

Weird and pointlesss, I know. Well, give me one review and I'll write another chapter for...whatever character I'm doing next. You decide.


	2. Dib's Obsessive Fanfic

**A/N: **Thank you kind people for reviewing. You are wonderful. I believe that Dib was voted to be the next person to write a fanfic so...here goes.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Zim.

**Prompt:** Write a fanfic about a purple muffin.

**Dib's Fanfic**

Dib::reads Zim's fanfic:: HEY! What is with this? This is stupid! This whole freaking thing is about how I'm ugly and stupid and--HEY! My head is _not_ big! Why does everyone say that? ...And what's whith all this killing? This is ridiculus, not to mention insulting and evil!

Zim: So? I'm going to kill you anyway, might as well get used to it. I AM ZIM! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

Dib: Oh yah? Well, here's _my _fanfic

Me: HEY! It had better be about purple muffins!

Dib: Why?

Me: BECAUSE I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY!

Dib: ...

All the great heros were thought to be crazy at first. Like Luis Armstrong and those guys who made the airplane! But they wern't crazy. And now everyone loves them and knows their name! They WERN'T CRAZY! They were heros. And I bet you anything that Luis had FBI agents egg his house, too. And I bet his dad was _always_ trying to send him to the crazy house.

Anyway, there was once this kid named Dib who was a misunderstood hero that was saving the world everyday, and the best thanks he ever got for it was waking up and realizing FBI agents just egged your house. And then Zim comes up and TPs your house, even after it's already been covered in raw eggs. And then he sets your house on fire and when the firemen come no one believs you when you say that the FBI egged your house, and then an alien TP'd your house, and then set it on fire. I mean, how hard is that to believe? AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!?!

So this kid named Dib is always stopping an evil, ugly, stupid, BIG-HEADED alien named Zim who is always trying to destroy Earth. No one ever believes me when I say, I mean, Dib says Zim is an alien, but they will. One day, everyone will know. And Zim will be on an autopsy table, being disected by who? Me! ME! That's right! I'll do HORRIBLE tests on Zim, really, really painful tests, and spread his organs all over a plate for everyone to see! EVERYONE! And everyone will know how I was the hero, how I stopped the alien, and--and everything! I AM NOT CRAZY, AND MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!

Me: I didn't say your head was big.

Dib: You were thinking it.

Me: ...right. Anyway--HEY! There was nothing in there about purple muffins! Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?

Dib: Is there any specific reason you want me to write about purple muffins?

Me: Not really, no.

Dib: Then I'm not going to stand around here and argue with you and this stupid talk about muffins. I have better things to do... like argue with Zim about muffins. ::walks offf::

Me: HEY! Where are you going? You can't leave! I'm the author! Write a poem about purple muffins! Awwwww, c'mon! Please? PLEASE?!...

...And so ends another chapter. I'll write another one if I get another review for... basically any character requested... yah.


	3. GIR's Seriously Random Fanfic

**A/N:** Ok, thank you wonderful people again for reviewing. There were a whole lot of people who requested, but GIR was requested the most, soooo...here it is Ahem. Yah. If you still want me to do that character you requested, (this for the non-GIR requesters), you can review again and if most people ask for the same thing (or you are the only reviewer), then I'll do that character. Thank you again for taking the time to review me!

**Disclaimer:** Me no owney Zimmy.

**Prompt:** Write a fanfic about a banana.

**GIR's Fanfic**

And then they aaaaaaalll rode the giant moose because the tacos were all gone. Too bad that the evil umbrella man ate everybody because I misses it when the carnival rides go WHEEEE! I goes to school too, just like you! Only the one I go to has maaaaaaany magical friuts, but no bananas. One time when master came home I kissed him just like on tv! AND THEN THE CUPCAKES CAME!! That was happy cuz the squid men were always late to the movies. They missed all the good ones about tacos, and one about fishes that were lost. He made the muffins sad, they have feeeeeelings toooooo. Three dolphins ate some doughnuts, which makes me sad because _I_ wanted the doughnuts, but then master said, "No GIR, you can't eat that human filth in here." And I said, "But I wanna!" Then master said, "No." And so I gots all sad and ran away. But then I came back because the big-headed boy was outside and he said, "What are _you_ doing out here?" But that's ok because it was time to be a cat anyways. And then the Scary Monkey Show came on and I thought nooooo moooooooooore.

Me: Erm...that was...interesting...?

GIR: Cuz then the pencils all went, "Oooh, it's time to go home!"

Me: What?

GIR: But Barney was evil and said, "NOOOO!"

Me: GIR, are you done with your story?

GIR: Yes I am, mister lady.

Me: Then why do you keep talking?

GIR: But only the french fries knew the way home, and we couldn't ask them because they were busy somewhere dancing.

Me: ...Oh dear God. Somebody _please_ shut him up, I need to go to school soon.

Zim: HAHAHA! Pitiful _huuu_man, unable to deal with advanced Irken technology! To hard for your tiny human brain to comprehend, eh? Well, HA::hits GIR on the head, GIR stops rambling::

GIR: I'm gunna go watch the Scary Monkey Show now::runs off::

Me: The way you turn off this...advanced Irken technology... is hitting him on the head?

Zim: Yes.

Me: ...that doesn't sound all that advanced to me.

Zim: Well, that's because your tiny brain ...can't...think...that good...about stuff. Now begone with you.

Me: Hey, I'm the author! You can't boss me around!

Zim: I believe I just did.

Me: You know, I can make you disappear in a puff of purple smoke if I want to.

Zim: HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'd like to see you try, filthy stink-beast!

Me: Oh, that is just IT!

Zim::disappears in a puff of purple smoke::

GIR::comes back:: But no one could tell because the lady was made of caaaaaaaaaaaaaards...

Thank you people again for reviewing! I had no idea that I was going to get so many reviews... Well, if you give me one more then I'll write another chapter! Again, I don't know what character I'm going to do, so you decide for me! Thankies!


	4. Gaz's Creepy Fanfic

**A/N:** Ok, the next most-voted character was Gaz (sorry to a cretain Skooge-lover, I'll do him later, promise!), so I'm doing Gaz. Thank you to all the lovely reviewers out there, you are...lovely. I like to hear what I did well in a fic, so I can be better next time. Ah loves you all. ::gives you a creepy smile:: ...that kind of ruined the mood, didn't it?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Zimmerino.

**Prompt:** Write a fanfic about... oh, forget it. No one ever pays attention to these anyway.

**Gaz's Fanfic**

Me: Hey, Gaz, why aren't you writing the fanfic?

Gaz: Go away.

Me: Wait a second... why does everyone talk to me like I'm dirt here? _I'm_ the one who WRITING this freaking thing!

Gaz: People talk to like you're dirt because you ARE dirt. Now if you don't get lost I'm gunna have to--

Me: Me! ME! The one who shoved her freakin' blood and sweat into this story! They make fun of me! _Me!_ M-- ::Gaz shoves a basketball down my throat::

Gaz: Shut up. ::starts playing Gameslave 2::

Me::eyes start watering, get out a keyboard and types a few words, then basketball disappears:: Gaz... argh... you... ::gasp:: Ow. Well, you may be able to cause...erm...extreame pain, but only _I_ can make you disappear off the face of the Earth! So ha!

Gaz::growls:: Wanna bet?

Me: Erm..ehe..well... I can turn your hand into a duck.

Gaz::thinking:: Weeeeellllll... I can remove all the bones from you hand and smoosh it into the shape of a duck.

Me: Yes, but it wouldn't actually be a _duck._

Gaz was about to shove a pencil up the author's nose, but then she realized that she couldn't play her Gameslave 2 if her hand was a duck.

Gaz: Fine I'll write your STUPID story, and then you will _pay_.

Me: Thankies::runs off::

**Gaz's Fanfic (Where it actually starts)**

Once upon a time there was a stupid, annoying author who was begging Gaz to kill her.

"Please Gaz, kill me!" she said. "I'm really ugly and I have no friends! The only thing I can do well is annoy people half to death!"

"Ok," said Gaz, and she stomped the author's ugly face in. The End.

Me: ...

Gaz: This is the part where I stomp your face in.

Me: AAAAAAH::runs, Gaz chasing me::

Err, yah. Well, Review! And suggestions for next chapter's character are most appreciated, as always.


	5. Ms Bitters's DOOM Filled Fanfic

**A/N:** Ok, now I'm doing Ms. Bitters. Yah. I've been threatened. Sorry to you people Gaz-lovers about that last chapter, but I just couldn't see Gaz bothering to write more than a few sentences. She's just too evil. Thank you people for reviewing, you is loverly.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Zim.

**Ms. Bitters's Fanfic**

Once upon a time there was a poor teacher who was forced to listen to the whiny complains of annoying children whose heads were hollow and filled with the webs of poisonous spiders, who fed off the occational doomed thought that an idiotic child would occationally think, before returning back to the horrible pit of dispair they stew in every day, because nobody else wants be near them besides the ever-growing _gloom_. This poor teacher was never able to get a break from screaming snot-balls who would never amount to anything, besides mabey a hobo's puke bag.

This poor teacher was forced to look at empty-headed ditzes whose own empty heads will soon implode on themselves, due to their vast emptiness. I haven't even begun on their horrid behavior problems.

There is no way I'm getting paid enough to teach this educational blackhole of _doom_.

Me: ...erm...yaaaaaah... well, I've gotta go do my _homework_...

Ms. Bitters: YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR HOMEWORK::hissssssss...::

Me: Eh, bye bye::runs away::

Ms. Bitters: I'll get you, one day, one day... no one skieves off homework and lives to tell about it... ::slinks off into a dark corner::

Short, I know, but I REALLY need to do my homwework. I'm serious. Please, tell me what you think and review, and then tell me which character I should do next! AAAH::runs off to do homework::


	6. The Tallest's Snackish Fanfic

**A/N:** Yay! It's my birthday! I got two GIR shirts, volume 3 of IZ, and a SIDESHOW BOB ACTION FIGURE, YAY! (I'm a freak.) Anyway, I'm doing the Tallest next. Since there are two Tallest there is going to be two different fonts so you can decifer like, who is who. Yah... ehem.

Red

_Purple_

**The Tallest's Fanfic**

Once upon a time there was an annoying little Irken named Zim. _Oh, oh! Say he was stinky! _Fine. Zim was stinky._ And stupid! _Yah, and stupid. REALLY stupid._ Yah, and he thought he was on this secret mission on this pig-monkey planet... Earth, I think it's called Earth. _Yah, it's Earth. So anyway, Zim thinks he's on this mission on Earth, but we just sent him there 'cause we hate him._ Boy, do we hate him! Whew, that's a lot of hate! All this hate is starting to make me hungry. _Yah, let's go eat food, then finish this writing-thingy._ I hope we still have some of those doughnut with sprinkles on them! Man, I love those doughnuts! _I hate that kind! Jelly doughnuts are SOO much better. I don't even know how you can stand that stuff._ Hey! Don't insult the sprinkles!_

**Later, after much bickering and then a whole lot of doughnut eating...**

Ok, I'm full. So anyway, we hate Zim. We hate him alot._ Cuz he blew up half our planet! MAN, that was a bad day. _Jeez, he's a moron._ And so short! _That's probably why he's such a moron. Because he's so short. _Yah, those short and ugly people are always so stupid. _Hey, wanna put a table-headed service bot in a cannon and shoot him out of the Massive?_ Hehehe, that never gets old!_

Me:You do what to a what?

Red: Why do you care, human worm... baby... thing?

Purple: WOW, you're short!

Red: And ugly.

Me: HEY! Are you even _listening_ to me?

Purple: Are all your people this ugly?

Red: Your uglyness is annoying me. PUT HER IN THE SPACE... CANNON... THINGY!

Purple: WAIT! Can you do puppet shows?

Me: Erm... I guess...?

Purple: Do a puppet show or we'll shoot you out the space cannon!

Me: No way!

Red: Too bad::shoots me out the space cannon::

Purple: Awww... I wanted to see a puppet show. ::walks away::

Yay, I'm done! Everybody say happy birthday to me::waits in silence:: Well... anyway, review please! Tell me which character to do next::does the birthday dance::


	7. Tak's Vengeful Fanfic

**A/N:** Yay, thanks for the birthday wishes! I'm doing Tak next! For all you lovely Tak lovers!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Zim.

**Tak's Fanfic**

Once upon a time there was an _IDIOT_ who DESTROYED MY _LIFE!!!_ How is it that the most inept FOOL in this whole universe ended up where I was supposed to be?! He isn't even a real invader! He's not qualified in any way! THE TALLEST JUST SENT HIM THERE TO GET RID OF HIM! _I_ am the better invader! There is NO contest here whatsoever! He destroyed half our planet! His "genius" disguise consists of two contacts and a wig! His SIR unit is a joke! His technology is out of date! Yet I, _I_, am the one floating in the wastelands of space! _I_ am the one sitting in a wreckage of a ship! _I_ am the one with a broken SIR! Why? Where is the logic in this?! He isn't even fit to call himself Irken! YOU TRAPPED ME ON THAT PLANET FOR A CANDY BAR, ZIM!! FOR SNACKS!! As soon as I find a way out of this horrid situation Zim, I will find you and _destroy you_. Do you hear me, Zim? DESTROY YOU!!! I'LL CHOP YOU'RE HEAD OFF AND FEED IT TO MIMI ONCE I FIND YOU, JUST WAIT!!

Me: Wow, you have serious anger issues.

Tak: _Excuse me_, filthy _Earth_ child?

Me: I'm not filthy!

Tak: As far as you know.

Me: Jeez. No wonder you were on only one episode.

Tak: ...episode?

Me: Oops::runs away::

Tak: HEY! Where do you think you're going? You can't run from me! Explain, NOW!!

::akward silence, I'm loooong gone. ::

Yay, done! Please review! Tell me which character to do next, and I give you a cookie! Please? ...okay, I'm a bit sad, I know. Just tell me which character to do next, since I don't know myself.


	8. Iggins's Obsessive Gaming Fanfic

**A/N:** Ok, I'm doing Iggins next. Yes, I know, Iggins is annoying. But he is a character anyway, so it must be done. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, but my grandparents are here and I need to pay attension to them. Oh, and yay for me because I got an ipod for my late b-day gift!! It is FILLED with Invader Zim songs!! (Yes, yes, I'm a fanatic.)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Zim.

**Iggins's Fanfic**

**Note:** All of the following is said super-fast.

Okay once upon a time there was this boy who was a REALLY good gamer and he really wanted this game but he couldn't get it because this creepy girl took it from him _it was MINE_ but then he got a new one from someone else and then he was always playing the games on the GS2 with the new zombie hog level _it was so cool_ he beat it then got the new GS2 extension in six different colors and now he's trying to beat the vampire piggies in _RECORD SPEED_ and I know I can do it because I am the _ulimante gamer _YAY and because of that creepy girl now he carries a pack of batteries where ever he goes and a spare _just in case_ because if I don't I won't pass that next level and I will explode _I need to pass it!!_::whines::

Me: You are the most annoying person I've ever met, and that's saying something.

Iggins: So? I'm still a better gamer than you.

Me: What does that matter? I have a life.

Iggins: What kind of a life has no games? I mean, I would die if I didn't have Extreame Hampster Revenge 12 to play when I was bored.

Me: That's becase you're a freak.

Iggins: Well, I found you havn't beaten ANY of the games on your PS2, so who is the REAL freak, eh?

Me: ...you. I can't see why this is so difficult for you to understand.

Iggins: It isn't! I understand the super-complicated cheat code for Chubby Chubby Pengiuns Special Edition for unlimited food, I understand how to make the red piggies from Ultima Red Piggies change to yellow, and I understand how to rubber chickens into robots with lasers in the game Rubber Chickens from Space! I understand _perfectly_.

Me: Are you a loser?

Iggins: No.

Me: See? You don't understand. You ARE a loser. You're such a big loser that you are like, the KING of Losers. That's how much of a loser you are. ::walks away::

Yay, done. Please review and tell me if that sounded like Iggins or not, and then tell me what character to do next! ...ehem. Yah. ::listens to ipod while waiting for reviews::


	9. Minimoose's Surprising Fanfic

**A/N: **Yah, I'm doing Minimoose next. Yayness. Scince he doesn't exactly speak English, the bold font is going to be his translation. Oh, and, the fanfic is kind of stupid, so if you can't handle stupidity, I suggest you don't read it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Zim.

**Minimoose's Fanfic**

SQUEEE SQUEE _SQUEEEEEEEEEEE _squeee.

**Alas, my life began simply, crreated by an incompitant Irken master by the name of Zim. I curse my fortune, for thus began a life of servitude to a moron beyond all possible belief in the definition of moron.**

Squee, squee squee SQUEE squee.

**His mission as an Invader consistes of studying the strange life forms that dwell on this rock, blending in with the said creatures, and eventually concuring them for the mighty Irken Empire.**

Squee, squee SQUEE squee squee? SQUEEEEE squee. SQUEE!

**He hasn't done crap.**

Squee.

**He thinks that a toaster is a weapon of mass destruction, his disguise includes two contacts and a wig, and his plan of doom for Earth is currently throwing a giant pancake breakfast where the pancakes have eggshells in them.**

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

**And personally, I'd rather be having a cuppa tea with Earth's greatest minds to discuss the meaning of life than trying to concure this worthless pile of dirt.**

Me: Wow, you always seemed so happy on the show.

MM: SQUEEEE squee squee squee!

**Television can be decieving. For example, on television a woman may seem to way 120 lbs. , yet in reality, she is 190.**

Me: ...o...kay. Anyway, erm... how do you feel about being a fat, tiny, pink moose?

MM: Squee?

**Actually, I quite enjoy this state of being.**

Me: Really? That's interesting, because I think it makes you look kind of fruity.

MM: SQUEEEEEEE!!!!

**What do you mean by fruity? Do I remind you of some type of fruit?**

Me: ...never mind, forget I said anything.

MM: SQUEEEE _squeeeee..._

**If you insist. **::wipes memory disk::

GIR: IT'S TIME _TO BAKE A PIZZA!!_

MM: SQUEE!

**GIR, you were told to stay gaurd of the atomic bomb.**

GIR: Aaaaw, _you_ looks like you needs a big hug. ::hugs MM::

_Two hours later..._

MM: Squee.

**Please let me go now.**

GIR: Ah wrote a book about pineapple!

MM: Squee squee?

**No you haven't, your memory chip wasn't programed to remember written lanuages.**

GIR: Oh, that Memny-sip thing? I ate it.

MM: ...

Me: Go home, GIR.

GIR: After you, parachute man::runs off::

Me: HEY! I'M NOT A PARACHUTE MAN!

The end! Weird, yes... but there you go. Please review! I would love you forever::begs on knees::


	10. Skoodge's Gullible Fanfic

**A/N: **Hello! I'm on vacation and I discovered there wasa computer here, so yayness. Sorry for everyone who hated that last chapter, I went wild with it because, I mean, we don't really know what Minimoose is saying, do we? DO WE?! Ok, I'm over myself now. Since I've been threatened I don't know HOW many times to do this character, I'm doing Skoodge. I had no idea there were so many Skoodge fans!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Zim.

**Skoodge's Fanfic**

Once upon a time there was an Invader who was loyal to the Irken Empire. His name was Skoodge. He was short.

Purple: AND UGLY::the author grabs him and shoves him out of the story::

...well, he was loyal and severved his Tallest everyday and did exactly what they told him to. He conquered his planet and was rewarded by being the first to participate in the new tradition of being shot into the cold void of space! Everyone thought I was dead, because when I tried to go back home and report to my Tallest, the person at the sign-in desk said, "You aren't Skoodge! _That's_ Skoodge," and pointed to another Invader who was taller than me and eating sancks. I would have NEVER been able to report back to my Tallest if they hadn't walked in that very momment, complaining about something like "all the chips are gone" or something. Then they saw me and told me that if I went to Hobo 13 and survived, they'd promote me! I was so happy! I was surprised to see that Zim was there, too. He said something about me being gullible, but I'm not gullible, so I ignored him. And then I almost got eaten by some kind of evil goat-beast, but I'm alright now! ...and then someone sat on my head... and then they started using me like hammer for some reason.

Me: ...Skoodge? I'm not sure the Tallest like you.

Skoodge: Why would you say that?

Me: Mabey do to the fact that they keep trying to kill you.

Skoodge: When did they try to kil me? My Tallest honor me and they would never try to do that!

Purple: _Yaaah_ we wooooouuuuuld::I shove him out of the story again::

Me: Ehem... anyway, Skoodge you reeeeeally need to start opening your eyes to this situation. You're a bit gullible.

Skoodge: I am NOT gullible! Why does everyone say that? Even people I've never met before tell me I'm gullible! Like you!

Me: Hey Skoodge! There's a giant, evil piece of bublegum behind you!

Skoodge: AAARGH!!! _Somebody help me!!_ ::runs away screaming bloody murder::

Me: Wait, Skoodge! I WAS KIDDING! I was just trying to prove to you that you're gullible! Come back here:Skoodge is _still_ screaming; far, far in the distance...::

Done! Odd, yes? Yes. Please review and tell me what character to do next, please, because I don't know... yah. You know the drill.


	11. Keef's Loveable Fanfic

**A/N: **Yo peeps. Fo shizzle in da hizzie. Ok, I totally don't know what that means, but it sounds freakin' wicked, man. Far out. ...okay, I'll shut up now. I'm doing Keef. Yes... there is nowhere can hide, Zim! THE OBSESSIVE BFF HAS RETURNED!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

**Disclaimer:** Me no owney Zimmy.

**Keef's Fanfic**

Once upon a time there was the best friend in the world! His name was Zim! He was really really really really really really really really nice to me all the time and never thought about himself! He was kind, thoughtful, and-- and-- GOOD!

Zim: YOU LIIIIIE! _LIIIIIIIE!_

Me: I'm getting really sick of people inturrupting other people's fanfics. Zim, get out of here.

Zim: Noooooo, YOU get out of here!

Me: _What?!_ You are really askin' for this, buddy::makes Zim disappear in a puff of purple smoke:: Ha! Beat that! You can continue, Keef.

He's my _best friend._ I love him... as a friend. A _best friend_. A _bestest bestest_ friend. A _bestest bestest_ _bestest bestest bestest--_

Me: Okay, you can shut up now.

Keef: Alright::grins stupidly::

Me: ...um... anyways... Do you think Zim likes you back?

Keef::shocked:: of course!

Me: ...Zim?

Zim: NOT EVEN IF GUSHLOOGISPORKS WERE _KNAWING MY TOES OFF!!_

Me: I see... Keef?

Keef::giggles:: That Zim! Always joking! He tells the _funniest_ wisecracks!

Zim: I'M _NOT JOKING_, YOU HORRIBLE PILE OF... OF... _BANANA!!_

Keef: That's a good one! Hehehehehehe!! Tell another! Your the best... best friend ever!

Zim: SHUT YOUR SPEACH... TALKING... HEAD! _SILENCE!!!_ I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND!

Keef: You're so funny!

Zim: AAAARGH!!

Me: Okay, you guys are really starting to get on my nerves.

Keef: Tell another joke, Zim!

Zim: ZIM DOES NOT TELL JOKES!!

Me: Whatever, I'm leaving now.

Zim: NOOOOOOO!!! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HIM!!

Keef: Tell me another joke, Zim!

Tada...yah. Please review and tell me which character to do next, yay. ::walks away from Zim and Keef::


	12. Bill's Paranormal Fanfic

**A/N:** Well, everyone voted for a different character this time so I simply went with the character that's been asked for the longest...Bill. There's a moral here, kiddies: don't give up when you whine to people. Eventually, the'll give in and give you something to shut you up.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Zim.

**Bill's Fanfic**

Once there was a secret society of _evil,_ polka dotted weasles. Ooooh, they thought I din't know about them, but HOW VERY WRONG THEY WERE. Nobody believed me, just like the time I called the President about the radioactive weenie invasion and I got arrested for making prank calls to the President, but I'll show them... _this time_. This time I won't have to release the _vampire chickens_, just like last time! And this time I won't get arrested for releasing _vampire chickens_. THIS time will be different! _This_ time!

Me: Uuuhhh... yah.

Bill: Exactly little man, exactly.

Me: I'M NOT A FRIGGIN MAN, YA RETARD!! OBSERVE THE PONYTAIL AND THE BOOBS!!

Bill: Woah... cool it. You're actin' like gishdopers are eating your brain. Wait... mabey gishdopers ARE eating your brain!! STAY CALM!!! I'LL HELP YOU::graps me by the feet and shakes me upside down::

Me: WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?!!?

Bill: OPEN YOUR MOUTH WIDE, LITTLE MAN, SO THE GISHDOPERS CAN COME OUT!!!!

Me: I'M NOT A MAN!!!! YOU'RE INSANE!!! _LET ME DOWN!!!_

Bill::still shakes me. nothing comes out of my mouth but spit:: OH NO!! THEY'RE CLINGING TO YOUR BRAIN JUICES!!! I MUST SHAKE HARDER!!!!

Me: AAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Bill: MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!

Me: AAAIEEEEEEEE ::deep breath:: EEEEEEEEEEEE... oh whatever. My throat's sore.

Bill: WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?!?!

Me: Shut up. ::presses a button on a keyboard, Bill dissappears:: Jeez... he attacked me and he wan't even all that crazy. Note to self: never let Nny on here.

Yah... I'm still recovering from this. Please review and tell me whick character to next and... get well cards are appreciated.


	13. Prof Membrane's Fanfic of REAL Science

**A/N:** Okay, sorry for not updating, but I lost my ipod and I was sulking. I mean, I had like twenty Zim songs on there. (Goes and cries somewhere...) Anyway, I'm doing Membrane next (he was tied with Gretchen, but Membrane ha been asked for more in the past so I did him). Oh yah, and guess who tied for second? NNY. What the heck? I mean, he isn't even on Invader Zim! AND, more importantly, you horrible people don't seem to care about my personal health. You do realize that if ONE MORE person had requested Nny, I'd have had to let him guest star with Prof. Membrane... and then die. Do you know what you're doing? You are requesting my death. That's... that's horrible. But, being the unbelievable suckup I am, I will let him guest star with one of the Zim characters... _IF_ YOU REQUEST IT. I will only do it if I get three people requesting him to guest star. THREE. No less. My gruesome, painful death _does_ have a price, you know.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Zim.

**Prof. Membrane's Fanfic**

_Once upon a time..._ There was a man who studied REAL science! And every day he... _SAVED THE WORLD!!!_ Because no one else had enough _knowledge_ of SCIENCE!!! to save the world. He was _hoping_ that his son was going to be the next heir to SAVE THE WORLD!!! _But_... he's currently too INSANE to save the world, soooo... ::ehem:: Anyway, he was always at the labs all the time trying to SAVE THE WORLD!!! And when he wasn't at the labs, he was at the SANTA labs trying to... SAVE THE WORLD from _SANTAAAAA!!!!_ He also liked to--

Me: OH MY GOD SHUT UP ALREADY!!!

Prof. Membrane: What's the matter, little girl?

Me: You said "save the world" like fifty times, and... HEY!! I'M NOT A LITTLE GIRL!!

Prof. Membrane: Of _course_ you are! Here's some candy. ::gives me an acorn:: Now... off to... SAVE THE WORLD... _FOR SCIENCE!!!_

Me: Oh, God. You never listen, do you? Oh yah, I almost forgot. This is from all the crazy Dib fangirls. ::slaps Membrane:: OH YOU FRIGGIN RETARD!!! DIB ISN'T CRAZY!!

Prof. Membrane: Owie... ::wimpers in a corner::

Crazy Dib Fangirls: BOOYAH!! DIB I HOOOOOOOTTTTT and not crazy!!

Me: ...okay, this is starting to get out of hand. ::I observe all the crazy Dib fangirls starting to beat up Membrane:: OKAY!! BREAK IT UP, PEOPLE!! BREAK IT UP!!

Prof. Membrane: MOMMY!!!

I was not able to save Prof. Membrane from the Crazy fangirls. Fortunantly, from the help of _REAL_ SCIENCE, the people that he works with brought him back to life and gave him a new, less pulverized body.

Yah... anyway... please review!! And tell me which character to do next!! And if you want Nny to guest star with another character in the next chapter!! God, I feel like I'm on Survivor... people just keep voting me off the island of peacful deaths...


	14. Gretchen and the Homicidal Guest Star

**ATTENSION YOU PISSED OFF PEOPLE!!!** You all probably hate me right now. Hate me so very, very much. BUT WAIT! Before you claw my eyeballs out, I have some sort of excuse for you. I had to buy the Johhny book to learn Johnny's charatcer, (that took some time) read Johnny fanfics (more time, sigh) and then write a couple fics of my own to practice writing Johnny in character. So please, dont kill me. It was all for you guys. Aaaaaaallllllll for yoooooooooou. ::sniff::

**A/N:** God, you people. You horrible, horrible people. I got SIX people requesting Nny. SIX. You HORRIBLE people. That's TWICE what I wanted. You guys are soooo mean. Wanting to see if I get gutted or not. That's just mean. So anyway, I'm doing Gretchen next. Well, Gretchen and Nny. You HORRIBLE people. Well anyway, as we all know, Nny has quite a potty mouth. So for every bad word he says, I will replace it with another, more appropriate word in this form below.

((more appropriate word))

See? Understand? No? Well, ((fudge)) you.

If you don't know who Nny is, then go to this link and learn, my children.

http // www . vicious grin . com /jthm/ johnny . html

Only... erase all the spaces.

Now that you know everything you need to know, please, continue.

**Gretchen's Fanfic**

Uuuuhhhhh... welllll... once upon a time there was a princess named Gretchen who lived in a castle all alone with only an evil witch for company. The princess was reeeally pretty. The evil witch was named Gretchen's Dad and she said "You can't have a boyfriend until you're 14!" So the beautiful princess was really sad, bein' stuck up with an evil witch and all. The princess didn't have braces. So one day, a handsome prince named Dib--

Dib: HEY!

Me: Shut up, I wanna see where this is going.

Anywaaaay, the handsome prince named Dib came and rescued Gretchen and then they went home and Gretchen showered him in meat-covered love. Then they got married and had sixty kids and lived happilly ever after, the end. .::grins crazilly at Dib::.

Dib: ...

Me: ...

Dib: ...

Me: ...

Dib: Eeeew, cooties!

Gretchen::sniff:: I don't have cooties!

Dib: Yes you do!

Me: Listen you guys, break it up. Dib, you have to leave. I'm sorry. You can continue this conversation later.

Dib: Why?

Me: Well, I'm about to have a very violent guest star and if I let you die the fangirls would never forgive me. Or let me live. If I live...

Crazy Dib Fangirl: WE LOVE YOU DIB!!!

Dib: I see.

Me: Yah. So get lost.

Dib::poof, he's gone::

Me: Now, If you could excuse me for a little bit Gretchen, I have to go get some I-don't-want-to-die stuff. Bye. Stay right there. ::poof, gone.::

Gretchen: Uuuuuuhhhhhhh...

Me::poofs back with about a hundred cherry brainfeezys and a couple cherry fiz wiz's:: Okay... Gretchen, here are the rules. There's only two. Number one: DO NOT INSULT HIM. Be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very polite. Understand?

Gretchen: Uuhh, I guess so.

Me: Good. Rule number two: DO NOT SAY WACKY. WHATEVER YOU DO. I DON'T CARE IF GOD TOLD YOU THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE EARTH FROM AN ALIEN INVASION WAS TO SAY WACKY, HE'S LYING. DON'T SAY IT. DO. NOT. SAY. WACKY. It's very, very, very, very important that you don't say wacky. Understand?

Gretchen: ...uuuhhhhh...

Me: Good. _Heeeeere's_ Johnny!

**Special Guest--Onstage!**

Johnny stood there in the middle of nowhere, holding a brainfreezy, covered in blood. He looked a little weirded out. I had a reeeeaaaallly forced smile on my face and Gretchen was looking a little freaked out about the blood.

Nny: ...?

Me: Hello, Nny! Brainfreezy:: hands him a brainfreezy, still grinning crazilly.::

Nny: BRAINFREEZY!!!!!! I NEED BRAINFREEZY GIVE ME BRAINFREEZY I NEED THE ((fudge))ING BRAINFEEZY::drops the brainfreezy in his hand and grabs the one from me. Then he sucks it obsessivly.::

Me::calms down a bit:: Soooo... first question... is your hair blue? Cuz, you know, everyone's always saying your hair is blue and I don't really... uh...

Nny::Still sucking on brainfreezy::

Me: Eheheh... it's okay, I can wait...

Nny::STILL suckin' on that brainfreezy::

Gretchen: ...okaaaaay... that's a little _wacky_... oh, wait, wasn't that that word I wasn't supposed to say...?

Nny::drops brainfrezy, not a good sign:: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!

Me: oh ((shoot)) oh ((shoot)) oh ((shoot)) oh ((shoot)) oh ((shoot)) oh ((shoot)) oh ((shoot)) oh ((shoot))...

Nny: YOU LITTLE ((fudge))ER!! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?! YOU SAID WACKY, DIDN'T YOU!! THAT WORD!! THAT ((fudge))ING WORD!! WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY THAT ((fudge))ING WORD?!?!?!?!?!

Me::hissing to Gretchen:: You little ((female dog))! You've killed us all! Crap! I wanted to die in bowl of pudding! Do you see any pudding? Huh?!

Gretchen: Uuuhh... lady? You're freaking me out.

Me: ME?! _ME?!_ _I'M_ FREAKING YOU OUT?! TAKE A LOOK AT THE GUY WITH THE KNIVES, YOU MORON!!!!

Nny: ((fudge))!!!!! ((fudge))!!! OF ALL THE WORDS IN THE ENGLISH DICTIONARY, AND YOU HAD TO CHOOSE _THAT_ ONE!!! YOU'LL PAY!!! OH, YOU'LL ALL PAY!!!!! YOU'LL SUFFER FOR SAYING THAT WORD, EVEN IF IT'S THE _LAST THING I DO!!!!!!!!!_

_Then Nny took out sixty knives and shook them at us like the insane murderer he is._

Gretchen: ... ((shoot)).

Me: Exactly. See you in hell.

---------------------------------------------------

Nny finishes ripping our organs out of our living, breathing bodies and brushes his hands off. Then he picks up a couple freezies for the trip home and starts telling a story about demon tea cups to the quarter he found in my pocket. After Nny had left, Prof. Membrane came over from God knows where and took us to his lab to fix us up. We are now 99.9999999999 percent mechanical body parts, beating Jhonen's world record. And then, when we went home, our mothers spanked us for saying naughty words. Thank you, and good night.

Please vote for the character you would like me to do next. And please, no other JTHM characters. I'm now 99.9999999999 percent mechanical body parts because of you people. I don't need any mace in my eyes, and I _certainly_ don't need the antichrist exploding my head.


	15. The Roboparents's Annoying Fanfic

**A/N:** This is like, the fourth update I've done today. I am ON A ROLL. YAH, BABY! Roboparents tied with Squee. SQUEE... IS NOT... IN... INVADER... ZIM!!!! How can I put this fact into your puny little brains?!?! How can I get you people to SHUT UP about JTHM?!?! I mean, Jeez, I even got someone who voted for Nny again. If it'll shut you up, I'll do a And Then Dib Blew Up for JTHM. God.

So, obviously, I'm doing the Roboparents now. It's going to be the same situation as the Tallest, because there are two Roboparents.

Robodad

_Robomom_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Zim.

**The Roboparents's Fanfic**

I live in a giant bucket! _Then there were free Double Steakburgers at the Steak and Shake! It was so beutiful!_ HEY! I recall you ASKING me to get this fat! _Shhh, shhh... it's okay, baby. Let it all out. It's okay for a man to cry. _I used to be a cheerleader. _ There's a vaccine for that! _::starts slamming head repeatedly against a wall::

Me: ... okay, stop. Now you're really starting to freak me out. This is like GIR all over again.

Robomom: Gasp! A robot!

Me: HEY! I'm not a robot! The prefered term is android. My left earlobe is still flesh, you know.

Robodad: Aaaaaw, his first words! Let's adopt him! C'mon son, I have a few hotdogs just BEGGING to be shoved up our nostrils.

Me: What the heck?! I'm not a boy!

Robodad: How do _you_ know? You're only a delicious peice of fruit.

Me: OBSERVE!! BOOBS!!

Robomom: Aaawwww, he thinks that his metal jet packs are boobs! Let's remove his head and see what's inside!

Me: WHAT?! NO!

Robodad: Son... it's time to CLEAN YOUR ROOM. :: grabs hold of one of my arms and tries to eat it like a corn on the cob::

Me: YAAAAH! STOP THAT! AND I'M NOT A BOY!!!

Robomom::spontaniously combusts::

Robodad: Honey, I'm devorcing you. ::explodes from overload of stupitity::

Zim: My Roboparents! You FILTHY _hyoooman_, what have you DONE?!

Me: ...uuuuuh... yah. I'll, just, um... _go_ now. :: runs off::

Zim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Oo ... THE ROBODAD... WAS EATING... MY ARM. Somebady, please, help me. I'm being repeatedly pulverized by demented Invader Zim characters. And Nny. By the way, don't forget to vote for the next Zim character to have a fanfic!


	16. SizzLorr's BORING Fanfic

**A/N**: Hello everyone. I'm sorry for the late update, but my mom cut off my internet. Why, you ask? Well, let me put it this way... Never, NEVER leave your JTHM book on your Mom's bed. That is the single stupidest thing to do in the whole world. Don't do that. It's stupid. So very stupid. So very, _very_ stupid.

Well, I'm doing Sizz-Lorr now. What a happy fellow. Always smiling.

Oh yah, and there was also another wonderful gift from the world to Mrs. Terwilliger-- one of my Invader Zim CDs isn't working! Oh, how lovely! I'm so happy!

**Sizz-Lorr's Fanfic**

And THEN, oh and THEN, he leaves me AGAIN on the Great Snakening for TWENTY YEARS! AGAIN! That horrid sneak! I swear to Irk that if I ever get my hands on that rat I will twist his neck so hard that his whole body will break! Then I'll force him to actually make food WELL, because, you know, he can't. And THEN I'll--

Me: How much longer is this going to go on?

Sizz-Lorr: I'm guessing about an hour.

Me: Don't you have anything _else_ to talk about?

Sizz-Lorr: Hmm... Well, I once met this nice girl down at the Irken pub--

Me: Okay, stop. I don't want to know that much about your personal life.

Sizz-Lorr: Oh.

Me: ...

Sizz-Lorr: ...

Me: ...

Sizz-Lorr: Um... nice shoes.

Me: I'm not wearing shoes.

Sizz-Lorr: _Ewww._

Me: Wow, this has gotten really boring. I had no idea you were so... _boring._

Sizz-Lorr: Uh... sorry...?

Me: I mean, seriously, I thought you would be some kind of raging tornado of fury. But mostly you were just going on about how Zim can't cook. Who cares, man? _I_ don't. No one does. It's a known fact that Zim sucks at everything. Well, you started out good, but then you just _faded,_ man. _Faded._

Sizz-Lorr: Well... I've been going to a few anger manegment classes lately...

Me: SHUT UP! I need ACTION! ((snaps fingers and Zim apears))

Zim: I AM ZIM! ALL ELSE ARE INFERIOR!

Sizz-Lorr: GrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Umm... mabey this wasn't such a good idea.

_An extreamly violent strangling/kicking/screaming/slapping scene insues._

Me: BREAK IT UP, PEOPLE! THIS IS A NO-FIGHT ZONE!

Sizz-Lorr: Oh, sorry.

Zim: _Ehhhhhhhhhhhh_... ((faints from bloodloss))

Me: I'm sick of this. You're both stupid. ((disappears in a puff of purple smoke))

Zim: ...

Sizz-Lorr: ...

Zim: ...

Sizz-Lorr: ...nice shoes.

Okay, people, review! You know what to do. Tell me which character to do next, and I'll get it in as soon as I can.


	17. Mimi's Gangsta Fanfic

**A/N:** Hellooooo. Me again. My favorite Zim character switches from week to week just because all the characters from that show are just so brilliant and funny its hard to have a favorite. It's one of the reasons I decided to write this fanfic. This week it's Tak. I was watching Tak, the Hideous New Girl yesterday again and I was just like: I love that girl. Which is some _really_ good timing because I'm doing Mimi this week. I'm doing the cat because no one voted for the same character this time and since Mimi has been wating for her turn long enough. I think that the main reason people wanted her was because of that ridiculus Minimoose fanfic, but how can I be sure when you're all so very weird and unpredictable, huh? Aw, you know I loves you. ((gives you hug of tight-chokingness))

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Zim.

**Mimi's Fanfic**

Activate: Story Simulation. Enter Pig x 3. Desciption: Pink w/ hair perputrating out of chin and nasal passages. Setting: Houses x 3. House 1: Made of bricks. House 2: Made of sticks. House 3: Made of straw. Documentation claims pig-beasts created houses. Analyzing... false. Statement untrue due to fact that pigs have no apposable thumbs. More accurate interpretation: Zoologists created inappropriate habitat for Earth pork-providers in attempt to pass health inspection by Earth Humane Society. Conclusion: Excerpt w/ wolf is excuse for 2 out of 3 pigs dead (death possibly caused by deseise). End Transmission.

Me: Wow. You're the only person so far who actually wrote a story, and you're a freaking robot. Bravo, you seem to be able to follow directions. (...unlike others I know...ehem...)

Mimi: Analasis... speaker is robot.

Me: Me? I'm not a robot!

Mimi: False.

Me: No, really! Why does everyone keep saying that? Like, just because I have a disability now because a certain unfortunante "encounter" they can just be all _Ooooh she's a robot, let's go make fun of her!_ Well, whoop-dee-doo! Don't _I_ feel loved? Huh? Where's your sensitivity?

Mimi: Robots are not programmed with emotions. Emotions are disabilties.

Me: Your FACE is a disability!

Everyone: OOOOH_ DISS..._

Me: Now enough of that. I have a few questions for you. Ehem-- How do you feel about Tak?

Mimi: Tak: Master and creator. Irken. Does not permit Mimi to be gangsta.

Me: What?

Mimi: Tak: Master and creator. Irken. Does not permit Mimi to be gangsta.

Me: Wait... gangster?

Mimi: Gangsta.

Me: ... you're kidding, right?

Mimi: Simulation GIR introduced this type of subculture to me.

GIR: _WHEEEEEEEEEEE_ WE GUNNA RAP NOW YO!

Me: ...oh God.

_GIR and Mim suddenly change into magical gangsta clothing, compleate with titled hat and grillz. GIR's voice magically changes into a woman's and Mimi into a deep man's._

GIR: Smile for me daddy.

Mimi: What chu lookin' at?

GIR: I wanna see your grill!

Mimi: You wanna see my what?

GIR: Ya, your grill, ya ya, your grill.

Mimi: The whole top's dimond and the bottom row's gold! ((both strike gangsta pose))

Me: Never. Do. That. Again. ((slaps GIR)) You horrible little robot. You compleatly destroyed Mimi's character. Shame on you.

GIR: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ((gasp)) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA potato!

Me: ...

Mimi: ...

Me: Okay, whatever. GIR, get out of here. Mimi, stop talking to this guy. His head is filled with trash, for christ's sake.

GIR: Ima leave if give me a brownie!

Me: The Scray Monkey Show is on.

GIR: MONKEH! ((runs off))

Mimi: ((blows up for no reason))

Me: ...huh. This is the first time in a long time I haven't ended up pulverized at the end of these things.

Tak: _YOU BLEW UP MY ROBOT!!! _

Me: It's times like these I wish someone would sergically remove my stupid, stupid mouth. ((gets blown into oblivion))

What a lovely ending. I just got blown into oblivion. Yay. Please review and tell me the next character to do... you know. It's alright if you can't think of any, I have a special surprise for you guys at the end when I've finished with all the characters. I'll put up the next chapter as soon as I'm done being blown into oblivion.


	18. The Last Fanfic

**A/N:** SWEET JESUS. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. I COMPLETELY FORGOT I HADN'T FINISHED THIS. My parents blocked off my computer ((ugh… technology…)) so I've been using proxy, but since proxy kind of sucks a little (besides being a lifesaver and all) it won't let me look at the reviews. So I'm just going to finish this up and interview the last SURPRISE CHARACTER. OOOOOH, CRYPTIC. I'm _really_ sorry to the people that requested things that aren't going to happen.

Also, some people have made a very big deal about wanting me to do a JTHM version of this. If you want to bother reviewing this, please tell me what you think about that… whether or not I should do it.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but me.

**Jhonen Vasquez's Fanfic**

_What?!_ I'm not going to write a fanfic of something _I_ did!! Who are you anyway? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!?! DON'T RAPE ME!! LIFE… FLASHING… BEFORE… EYES…

Me: I am in your room for two reasons. One, I'm pissed at you because almost everything your insane, genius little head thought up tried to kill me. Two, I am extremely creepy.

Jhonen: Yes… yes you are. But since I do have a strange affinity for robots, all is forgiven.

Me: Really?

Jhonen: No. I like robots with lasers, which you lack. NOW LET ME _GO_, YOU _((female dog))!!!_

Me: _I'm_ the ((female dog))?! _You're_ the one that invented _Nny!!_

Jhonen: Ah, I see your point. Now leave before I have to release the terrible flesh eating demon that lives in my closet.

Me: You don't _have_ a terrible flesh eating demon that lives in your closet.

Jhonen: Yes, but if I did, it would be very terrifying.

Me: Whatever. Finish the fanfic.

Jhonen: Hmmm… no.

Me: What?! _WHY!?_

Jhonen: I don't like you. You manage smell like some type of yet-to-be-discovered foot fungus, though you are made entirely of metal. Interesting… but gross. Very, very gross. Begone.

Me: Hmf…. I thought as much. Well, right now, I have 10,000 ZADR fangirls trapped in a cage outside your door waiting to beat you up because you never made Zim and Dib makeout. Do the frickin' fanfic, or the cage goes bye-bye.

Jhonen: _Psh. _I have to deal with that kind of anencephalic stupidity every day. Don't make me laugh, feet-fungus-person.

Me: Oh yeah? What if I add in all the terrible creatures you invented with them?

Jhonen: …you're not really gunna--

Me: TOO LATE IT'S ALREADY DONE!!!

And then the Almighty Jhonen Vasquez was bombarded by Every single terrible creature that I wrote about. Zim came in and started screaming about how resistance is futile, but then Dib, who was about to hit Jhonen over the head with a lead pipe because he never gave him a mom, started screaming at Zim about how he was stupid, until Gaz came and took the pipe away from him and did him the favor of hitting Jhonen with it for him. She was going to hit him again for the final blow, but GIR jumped up on her face and started screaming about pie. Ms. Bitters floated over and hissed at everyone about the importance of shutting up, and then the Tallest floated around them all and laughed at their shortness. Tak fired some missiles at Jhonen's head, but then redirected them when she saw Zim. Iggins ran in and challenged Jhonen to a game of Fuzzy Pink Leprechauns With Knives. Minimoose ignorned them all and had tea. Skoodge was confused and just kinda stood there wondering where he was. Keef was giving Zim an enormous, organ-squishing hug. This was immediately halted when Gaz gave him a great big kick in the nuts. Bill had officially decided that Jhonen was a "Secret Beaver" and had to be "Descrutinized", which involved being hit over the head with a toilet plunger. Professor Membrane stuck his head out Jhonen's bathroom (which he had been using) and yelled at Dib to invite his "little foreign friend" over for radioactive tea. Dib was about to yell back something involving Zim being an alien and how he hates radioactive tea, but Gretchen kissed him straight on the lips before he could say anything. Zim cheered, because he thought Gretchen was attempting to suck out Dib's brains via mouth, but this victory was short lived because Gaz punched him in the mouth. Then Tak stomped on his head. The Roboparents were running around the house destroying everything they came in contact with, which was pretty much everything. Sizzlor was in the kitchen laughing and poking at some waffles. Mimi was about to help Tak, but then decided to watch some _Flava TV_ instead. Nny was still slurping that freezy, ignoring everyone as it was very good.

Everyone had completely forgotten about Jhonen, and were fighting each other instead.

Jhonen: Typical.

Me: HEY! Where are the fangirls?

Jhonen: They grabbed Dib and ran off.

Me: Well… uh… Ugh. This is pointless.

Jhonen: I'm leaving now.

Me: WAIT NOOOO WRITE A FANFIC!!!

Jhonen: ::zaps me with his laser vision::

_Jhonen Vasquez then walked off into the sunset, in search of a realtor to find him a new, Zim-free house. However, he was unaware of the fact that Nny had finished off his freezy, and had a bone to pick with this so-called creator. A very, very bloody bone._

_End._


End file.
